PoorDecisions tagged as

blackout

18

People That Like Turtles

 
decided to chug a premixed bottle of long island iced tea. passed out with my then boyfriend watching.
woke up naked with head in the toilet, then in the tub and finally in the bed. was told i slept with 2 girls when his friends came by and then that he was kidding. Bonus: ran into his friend who exclamed... is this the naked hotel chick? You MARRIED her?!?!? yea me... im still not sure what really happened. married 12 yrs now...
lolsboozelol long island iced teablackoutwhat. the. fuck.naked hotel chickdoin' it with members of the same gender...maybewat

 
-2

Friends Left After Last Night

 
Drank too much wine...again!
No crapping in the fishtank this time. Passed out in the back yard naked covered in mud. Apparently the dust bunnies told me to bury my clothes because they were secretly consuming me. BONUS RESULT: My clothes were not in the hole, I had to walk home....naked..sigh! I think I should quit drinking.
lolsdumbassboozewineno crapping in the fishtank this timeblackoutthis makes no sensewalk home nakedwait...what?this did not happenQUITTING IS FOR QUITTERS

 
17

Shots of Jaeger

 
St. Patricks Day. drinking 3 beers casually then drinking the other 12 in a shotgun competition with my friend within an hour
Pooing in one of my neighbours bowls and leaving it in the middle of their floor. got caught pulling up my pants. Also lead to being chased by 30 people wanting to kick my ass. Dont remember any of it, got told by the guy whos house it was the next morning. Awkward.
awkwardlolsdumbassboozeblackoutbooze induced amnesia

 
20

Interrupted Masturbation Sessions

 
Got super drunk last night.
Woke up this morning wearing a bikini and my mouth tastes like cigarettes and jizz.....wtf happened last night?!
lolsboozeblackouthammertimesuper drunkplease tell me you're a girlyou gave a cigarette a blowjob

 
13

Lowered Expectations

 
going on an innocent camping trip with my friend
stealing her dads whisky, first time drinking and drank waay too much, got completely shitfaced, hooked up with a random ugly guy, puked about 8 times, dont remember a thing except the beginning of the night, then the next morning had a hangover from hell and had to go on a boat ride and I'm pretty sure her dad knew....
lolsyeah totally innocentboozewhiskeyhammertimepukeblackouthangovertownyeah I'm pretty sure her dad may have noticed some of thisrandom ugly guyfirst time is worst time

 
-6

you're adopted

 
Had friends come into town for the weekend and decided to take a xanex before leaving for the club. At said club, drank four "pineapple upside down cakes", three beers, and lord knows how many shots my bartender-friend told me to try...all within 30 minutes.
Stumbling around downtown Savannah, blind-drunk, screaming how i wanted to go back to the first club and dance. BONUS RESULT: slapped husband in the face, told everyone I met i wanted to have a girl suck on my tits and clit, and ending up with a two inch long blood blister on my foot from my high heels. BONUS #3: DONT REMEBER A THING!!!
lolsmotherfucking hammered drunkhammertimeblackoutboozedrugsI DON'T REMEBERowfuck guys I just wanna dancewanting to doin' it with girlsfuck you husband I like girls nowboobies

 
3

Really Awkward Mornings

 
decided to take 5mg or bars and drink a bottle of jack
waking up with a self inflicted brand and not remebering it
lolsdumbassself inflicted brandyou think you're cattle when you're wasted5mg OR bars?Jackboozedrugshammertimeblackout

 
27

Unnecessary MySQL Queries

 
Took a bunch of painkillers because of a shoulder injury but still went out with friends.
Woke up the next day with a bill from the tattoo joint in my pocket, and a prince albert in my cock. Having to sit to pee blows.
lolsblackoutdumbassboozedrugsprince albertpeeing like a ladyyour dick got stabbedWHAT WAS THE TATTOO OF?

 
-23

LOLs per Million

 
getting drunk and then going to the strip club for more drinks
me walking into the dressing room like i owned it and running thru the emergency exit when chased by security. woke up couldnt remember a thing. didnt know where my car was or why i had scratches on me. still mad i dont remember walking into the dressing room.
lolsboozedumbassYEAH I BET YOU TOTALLY GOT TO SEE THOSE STRIPPERS NAKED oh waitlike a bossout of booze? better hit the titty barblackout

 
13

Confused Stares

 
New Years Party. Decided to impress cute blonde co-worker by drinking half a fifth of whiskey and half of fifth of dirty tequila...
Blonde Co-worker boobies *reset* behind the wheel of truck *reset* walking in strange part of town *reset* convenience store??? *reset* Waking up behind the wheel of my truck, safely, at 5 in the morning.... by a police officer.
the foundation of any great relationship is boozelolsdumbassso she showed you her boobies and then you leftblackoutboozeTEQUILAwhiskeyHappy Booze Year

 


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