I havent had any sex in a really long time, so i decided to call up this guys who asked me out a couple years ago, but i turned down, and asked him if he wanted to hook up. he said yes
he spends like an hour getting me really horny, and kissing and licking, and then he takes out this GIGANTIC COCK and he like, rubs it around me, and then he pulls out a big ass titanium fork, and stabs me with it, and i was bleedding and he starts yelling "WHY WOULDN'T YOU GO OUT WITH ME MARY?!" and i cannot even explain how horny i was, even after the fork thing, i still wanted to do it, and i was just begging him at that point, but he left, and was like "THATS WHAT YOU GET MARY." On the way home, he crashed his car, and the fork punctured an artery, and he died.
...what...the...fuck...
