PoorDecisions tagged as

Turned out to be hard whiskey. Spent the second half of the night in a bathroom stall hugging the toilet. Had to be escorted out the club in a wheelchair. I also randomly received a picture of myself holding the toilet the next day from my so called friend. Touche, rum.

I had the napkin too tight over the cork and when I popped the cork, the champagne squirted through the napkin in a long stream in the face of the lady. I remember seeing it in slo-mo and tried to correct the angle by moving the napkin. Worse result: I squirted (champagne) all over her boobs and front of her dinner dress. Positive: in the candlelight she looked radiant and glistening with all the beads of champagne on her skin like that. Negative: I think the guy saw me noticing how radiant. Positive: They were super understanding and still gave me a great tip. And I bet they get as much mileage from the story as I do.

Decide to throw a party because I haven't gotten hammered in a while

Me kissing every girl i could find and i am completely straight and my boyfriendd was sitting righhtt theree watchingg.

when i came back there was sperm all over the place and my other feamle cat pregnet and dead, with a knife next to her, with blood coming out her vagina, and the male cat in the corner sniffing cat nip

Me working my ass off to buy her one only to realize all she wanted was for me to cum on her neck.