Don't ever snuggle a lobster.
Just don't do it.
PoorDecisions tagged as
what the fuck is wrong with you
lesson learned
44
Unnecessary MySQL Queries
Watched some amateur porn.
Saw my son fuck an ugly chick and called him to tell him that his dick's still smaller than his old man's.
-10
Percent Chance of Not Getting AIDS
decided to put a lightbulb as far in my mouth as possible WHILE PLUGGED IN! and turn it on.
ow ow ow. got shocked, felt like a fried crisp. spit the bulb out and it broke so apparently it was a certain type of light bulb and it had some sorta gas in it that was released so i had to evacuate my house for 2 weeks. was living with my mom..still living with my mom...only a week in
-5
On the LOLometer
went to sleep
had a dream about killing justion beiner with a midget and a toothpick
-27
Responsibilities Taken Seriously
I shoved a handcuff key into my Penis in case I get arrested for drunk driving over the past weekend....Now I cannot pee straight...
it has been almost one week and it hurts like hell...
25
Glasses of Whiskey
Drank a ton of scotch and red bull at a party. Crashed on my friend's couch.
Dreamt I was being raped by a nun with a huge cock. Woke up outside on the deck without my pants or boxers and a ton of lube in my ass.
-4
Dollars of Net Profit Last Night
Roommates go to a wedding, decide to have a non-stop "Self love" marathon until they get back.
Wonder why they both laugh at me when they get back. Find that I had somehow managed to get a shit load of pubes on the front of my white t-shirt. How they got there, I have no idea. My hand never left my pants.
-12
LOLs per Million
Got drunk and revealed I'm bi to my best friend, and we got busy together.
Consumed by feelings of rejection and belittlement from my husband when he found out. BONUS RESULT: Totally don't feel bad that my son is actually my father-in-law's kid and not my husband's. Waiting for the nastiest moment ever to tell my husband, like Christmas morning or on his death bed.
51
your mom
decided it would be funny to yell my girlfriends ex-boyfriends name during sex
turns out they broke up because he was gay. she gave him my number and i got 12 new picture messages... from HIM!!! i saw things that can ever be erased..
33
Futures Destroyed
buying hamsters and a new laptop
in forgeting i had the hamsters and watching porn on the sofa until i glanced at the cage and had seen 3 hamsters staring at me and putting me off....... its a freaky moment.
